Obsessed – Day 15 – Not Good

Happy Monday.

Today started out with me waking up after only about 5 1/2 hours of sleep to a beautiful sunrise. I had a couple of cups of coffee in my hotel room while I got ready for my day. I had a convention that I was speaking on a panel at and I thought my time for speaking was at 10 AM but I was wrong. I arrived at the convention at 8:30 this morning having had no food, no work out and nothing prepared. My decision was clearly muddy. Would I leave and come back or stay?

I made the decision to stay at the convention because it was an opportunity to network for my job and in doing so, I was on my feet for approximately eight hours before I had my turn on the panel.

I proceeded to get breakfast at a little café in Caesar’s Palace which was a small frittata. Later in the day lunch was served by the hotel convention center and I ate a very small amount then. What’s my time had come and gone on the panel I was exhausted, extremely hungry and just not feeling like doing anything except sitting (I had been standing in heels for nearly all that time).

The hotel gym is incredibly large and always packed so I made a very poor decision based on fatigue and self esteem I guess. I didn’t want people watching me workout. So, I went to Whole Foods and bought myself a sandwich and some cheddar cheese crackers (which I didn’t eat all of) and a chocolate chip cookie and came back to my room and proceeded to eat it. I have not had a meal like that in quite some time and, needless to say, I feel bloated and very full and guilty.

I’m choosing to tell you all of this because I think it is important to see the good and the not so good. I have shared in previous blogs; my struggle with food and my “relationship” with food. While I dont consider today a binge, it was certainly not the preferred way of eating. I chose to eat for taste and mood satisfaction instead of choosing to eat specifically to fuel my body.

I’m a firm believer in the saying “you can’t out workout a bad diet!” But tomorrow is a new day and I did buy the things at the store that I need to be prepared. And I’ll do both my workouts (the one I missed today and the one for tomorrow) tomorrow. I’ll be doing Tuesday’s in the morning and making up Monday’s workout at the next hotel with the smaller gym.

Isn’t it crazy how some people (myself) don’t want to be seen doing something good for their bodies so they do something bad for it? Its a crazy twist on life. I’m going to take a nice long bath in this gorgeous tub, get some sleep and get back on track tomorrow.

~sleep well

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